Where Do You Want To Go?

What's your dream vacation? Come now, we all have one.

Is it Hawaii?

Alaskan cruise?

Bora Bora?

Backpack through Europe?

Visit national parks across America?

Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro?

Where do you want to go?

And I will bet that if you have a dream location, you probably know exactly how you will get there. Whether it's plane, train or automobile, you know that if you want to go somewhere great, you have to have a way to get there!

That is what I want to talk about today.

No, not your ultimate destination, but your ultimate relationship.

Do you know where you and your partner are headed? Is it where you want to go, or are you leaving it up to fate to decide where you end up and how you got there?

Have you ever considered writing a vision and mission statement for your relationship? If not this could be a relationship-changing exercise for you!

So let's start with vision.

What is it exactly?

Vision is your definitive, powerful conception of your future. If you have not spent the time to develop your vision for your marriage you may get to a place in your relationship where you just feel stuck.

If you don't know where you are going, then how can you possibly get there?

Here is a simple exercise you can do with your spouse to define the vision for your relationship:

First, list the top ten things that you and your spouse love about your relationship now or would like to have consistently in your relationship. Examples may be date nights, spirituality, good communication, regular intimacy, fun.

Next, determine the setting that contributes to the list you created in the first step. Record characteristics that are fundamental to achieving this vision. These may include things such as: peacefulness, kindness, patience, self-control, etc.

Lastly, using your two lists write a one to two sentence phrase that expresses the vision you have for your marriage.

Now what?

If vision is the vacation we want to take, mission is the plane, train, or automobile that get us there. Having a vision without a mission is like booking a trip, with no means of transportation.

Can you imagine booking your dream vacation and when the date came to take it you had not booked the plane ticket to get there? You could sit at home and think about the trip, but you'd never get to your destination.

That sounds crazy, but we do it all the time in our relationships! We have a vision of what we want but we never plan on how to get there!

Mission is what you are going to commit to as a couple to reach your vision. If faith is part of your vision statement what are you going to do to grow stronger in that. If intimacy is important to you what exactly does that look like to achieve that goal? This is where you say what you are going to do to achieve that vision.

While vision should be concise and be no more than two sentences your mission can be anywhere from 5 to 10 sentences. But you do want it to be something you can memorize and repeat.

This is your mission after all!

Have it printed on a sign, hang it from your walls, write it on post-it notes and place it in your car, on your bathroom mirror, on your cereal box, refrigerator, wherever you go first thing in the morning and lastly at night.

So, where do you want to go and how are you going to get there? If you need help I'd be glad to assist you!