Motorcycles and Marriage

A few years back my husband wanted a motorcycle.

I had quite a few very legitimate reasons why he should not have one.

And since his love for me was greater than his desire for a motorcycle, he respected my reasoning.

Then one day I read a book, I had actually purchased for him, Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. It's been a while since I read the book, but what I got out of it at the time was that I needed to say yes to the motorcycle.

And I did, with some conditions. He had to ALWAYS wear a full face helmet, plated motorcycle jacket, jeans, boots, and he had to take a motorcycle safety class.

This post is not about my husband getting a motorcycle, but it is about something he learned in that motorcycle safety class.

In the safety class he learned he must always keep his eyes focused on where he wants to go. Because, wherever you look there the motorcycle goes. You must stay focused on the road ahead and not get distracted by other things on the road. This is a pretty important concept for motorcycle riding, but I think it is equally important to relationships.

Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

He is essentially telling us here that we need to not take our eyes off of what is good, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy.

What happens when take our eyes off such things?

What happens in your relationship when you start focusing on what is going badly?

Or what is going wrong?

Or on hurt, anger, criticism?

That is the direction your relationship goes.

Have you ever caught yourself focusing on all the things someone does wrong? So much so it is nearly impossible to see what they are doing right?

Are you in that spot now?

Well, if so, I have great news for you! You can change the direction of your relationship today, by changing your focus. It really is as simple as adjusting the way you see things. Instead of thinking on all the things that are wrong, try keeping track of those things that are right. Make a list on your phone, write it in your journal, place it on sticky notes, write it on your hand, whatever helps you to shift your focus from what is wrong to what is right.

And then, share those things with your significant other. Tell them you have noticed how they go to work everyday, shovel the snow on the driveway, help clean up from dinner, make dinner, pick up dinner, do the laundry, fold the laundry, clean the toilet, mop the floors, vacuum, take the kids to school, pick the kids up from school, put the kids to bed, feed the dog or cat, take the trash out, make coffee in the morning, fill the car up with gas, play with the kids, texts you to tell you they will be running late, came home from work...whatever you see that is good, make a note and then tell them!

Now, I'd like to return to the motorcycle safety lesson on steering your bike where you are looking. This concept makes me wonder, do you know where you are going?

Do you know where your relationship is headed?

Can you imagine a person wanting to start a business without a mission and vision for that business?

I do not know a lot about business, but I would say that sounds crazy!

If you don't know where you are going, how can you get there?

But often, we enter relationships without the slightest idea of where this relationship is headed. Or we individually have an idea of where the relationship is going, but we don't share our ideas with our partner.

Can you imagine two people on the same bike trying to steer it in two different directions?

This is why developing a mission and vision for your relationship is so important.

And if you don't know where to start or how to build a mission and vision statement with your partner, you are in luck because that is the next topic of discussion!!

If there is any way I can be of assistance to you, please use my contact page to contact me!